so my grandma randomly shows up with food. you’d think this would be a good thing… but my grandmother is the laziest woman alive and therefore cannot cook to save her life. she overcooks everything until what’s left is a pile of mush that sits in the pit of your stomach until it gurgles it’s way to your bathroom. not pretty. i was so looking forward to the beer butter marinated chicken roast i had planned on making… now so i won’t offend her i’m filling up on snacks so when dinner comes i can politely say i’m not hungry and eat only a little so i’m not in pain for the rest of the evening.

i may sound like a dick… but you haven’t seen this food.

the next time i have sex or do anything with a boy i will be in love with said boy.